Dear colleague,
In my last article, I did some poor writing unintentionally, alluding to these things that mentally strong teachers don't do but then not really listing those things. What I've written below is my teacher-centered take on psychoanalyst Amy Morin's book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do. These aren't Amy's words verbatim, but they are riffs on Amy's “13 things” in all her various books regarding mental strength.
1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
I don't keep a secret here on the blog that teaching is hard. Whether it's unfair policies, challenging students, difficult parents, or (and!) days where nothing goes right, this job ain't easy.
According to Morin, mentally strong people don’t sit around saying, “Why me?” Instead, they focus on what they can do. They acknowledge the challenges and ask, “What’s my next best step?”
Every tough day in the classroom is an opportunity to problem-solve, learn, and grow.
2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power
Sometimes all it takes is a negative comment from a student or an unfair admin decision to ruin a day. I had a day or two ruined like that just last semester.
According to Morin, this is a sign of mental weakness. Mentally strong people don’t let external circumstances dictate their emotional state. They choose to control their responses. They think, “That comment hurt, but I'll decide how to handle it.”
It's in choosing how to handle something that mentally strong teachers get their power.
(And just to be clear: When I read Morin's work, I don't read “mentally weak” to be an insult or “mentally strong” to be a compliment. It's not a value thing in my mind — it's a descriptive thing.)
3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change
In a world where artificial (AKA contrived, fake) “intelligence” challenges the very idea that helping students grow smarter and mentally stronger is necessary, boy is education ever in a time of flux.
But what's new, right? New policies, new curriculums, new tech tools, new bosses — in the couple decades I've been in education, change has been the truest constant.
Mentally strong teachers, Morin would argue, don't resist this, but instead they lean into it. They ask, “How can this change help me serve my students better?” Adaptability isn’t about accepting every new initiative; it’s about staying open and discerning.
Phew — this one challenges me a lot. Rather than stew in my anxiety regarding the robots winning, I can stay open and be discerning.
4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control
Lost your planning period for an unexpected assembly? Student passed out in class because they played Fortnite until 2 a.m. again last night? Mentally strong teachers don’t burn out by railing against things they can’t change. Instead, they focus on what’s in their control:
- How will I respond?
- What can I adjust?
They control what they can and let go of what they can't. This is right up my alley and is central to pretty much every PD or keynote I've ever given.
5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Everyone knows that a teacher can't make each student, parent, and colleague happy all the time. What's hard is accepting that and expecting that even though I stay kind, fair, and firm, sometimes folks will get upset.
True professionalism, Morin would argue, sometimes means setting boundaries and saying no.
6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Mentally strong teachers don’t fear trying new things when they’ve weighed the benefits and risks. They embrace smart experimentation because they know it’s how we grow as educators.
For me next semester, this might look like revamping my classroom management approach for a particularly tough fifth hour or surfacing the AI argument with a group of students.
7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
Maybe last week’s lesson bombed.
Maybe you had a rough semester.
Mentally strong teachers don’t camp out in regret or self-blame. Instead, they reflect: “What did I learn from that?” Then they move forward and try to do better.
This is stuff I've been writing about since forever ago. And it's stuff I'm still trying to learn.
8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
Reflective teachers don’t keep repeating unhelpful habits.
- If parent communication keeps derailing, they figure out a better system (e.g., BIFF).
- If grading stacks up every weekend, they explore new workflows (see the Writing chapter in These 6 Things).
Mentally strong teachers learn, adjust, and improve over time.
9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
It’s easy to look at a colleague’s Pinterest-perfect classroom or their engaging lesson and feel jealous. Mentally strong teachers celebrate others’ wins, knowing that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish their own.
Instead of resenting, they think, What can I learn from this?
(Pro tip: When I struggled with jealousy as an early career teacher, I found the most effective balm to be writing the colleague I was jealous of a genuine note of congratulations on their success.)
10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
Tried a new teaching strategy and it flopped? Mentally strong teachers don’t throw in the towel. They tweak, iterate, and try again. Failure isn’t the end; it’s feedback on the way to success.
(Believe it or not, I first discovered this simple truth while drinking Miller Lite at a dive bar in Ann Arbor during my student teaching days.)
11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time
Downtime might be rare in teaching, but mentally strong teachers don’t run from silence when it comes. They use moments alone to reflect, recharge, or just breathe. A quiet drive home or a few minutes alone with your coffee can be invaluable.
Notice, though, that Morin's take on “alone time” means time away from digital voices, too. Social media, YouTube, TikTok…being by myself and consuming these kinds of content is not the same kind of solitude that Morin is describing.
12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
Oh. My. Gosh. I love this one. It is so deliciously convicting to me.
It’s tempting to feel underappreciated as a teacher — and you and I probably are. But mentally strong teachers don’t wait for praise, raises, or recognition. Heck — the strongest ones don't even expect these things.
They focus instead on why they teach and take pride in their efforts, regardless of who notices.
13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
You may not see the impact of your teaching today or tomorrow — but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Mentally strong teachers trust that their daily efforts — the lessons, the encouragement, the accountability — are planting seeds that will grow over time. Slow, steady work pays off.
Final Thoughts
To close, notice two things that mental strength is NOT:
- It's not the same thing as being smart. In fact, I think being intelligent in an intellectual sense can probably make it harder to be mentally strong in the ways Morin describes.
- It's not about perfection. Just like a physically strong person can't lift infinite weights or have 100% of their workouts go to plan, mentally strong folks do have limits and they do have bad days.
Nope — this is all about building habits of thought and action that help us handle challenges without burning out. Every day, we get to choose how we respond to the pressures of our work. By letting go of these 13 unhelpful habits, we free ourselves to teach with greater joy, purpose, and resilience.
Strength-building right beside ya, colleague,
DSJR
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